Thursday, 3 December 2009

My God It's Cold!

IT'S FUCKING WINTER AGAIN! Winter, the cold season. Winter, the dark season. Winter, the lonely season. Winter, the "everyone has someone to spoon but me" season. Winter, the "I wish I had two coins to rub together! I would buy port, heat it on the stove and get pissed." season. The "I'm practically Tiny Tim staring at the turkey he can't have" season... and to top it off I live in a 3 storey igloo.

There is only so much feet warming you can do with a hairdryer, nose heating to do with a laptop charger...I had a lot pinning on my newfound red hair bringing me some insulation... it didn't.

So bare with me while I channel my inner black eyed pea and ask: where is the love? It seems like everyone I know is getting together, and although I spend 99.9% of my life craving freedom and a good book, it's just not keeping me warm this winter.

So... If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain, if you'd like making love... Oh no wait... those were Jimmy Buffet's requirements...

Personally right now I am willing to settle for the first person armed with a cider and black, a packet of crisps and a penchant for spooning. Desperate times call for desperate measures, no one wants to sit around and wait until they are pissing icicles.

Consider this a casting call.

"The fated love turns out to be a human fantasy" according to Eugenides. I seem to be constantly yearning for a paradise that is receding endlessly before me.

But for now I won't let go of the dream...(for the sake of body heat).

I'll never let go Jack! I'll never let go!