“To live would be an awfuly big adventure” - J.M. Barrie, ‘Peter Pan’.
This is the last time I attempt to ignore my own problems and live in the anxieties of the people around me, this is the last time I try and live for other people, this is the last time I try and save everyone else to ignore my own pain, this is the last time I push everything I care about away. This is the last time I try and pretend to be somebody else. Probably.
I’m tired of being a perfectionist. I’m never going to be perfect.
I’m tired of being a dreamer. Nothing is ever going to live up to my expectations.
I’m tired of making the same mistakes.
Maybe it’s OK to be unhappy? Maybe if I admit it to myself I’ll finally give myself the chance to breathe. Maybe there is beauty in merely being alive? It may be true that anything can happen, but hiding away from such a reality is much worse when you face nothing happening to you at all.
Goodbye ‘Peter Pan’ complex. Farewell crippling self absorption. Auf Wiedersehen to dreams of the impossible. Hello, we welcome you to the real world.